Losers Never Win

Losers never win, this is a simple fact. This is the natural order of the world. There's nothing you can mentally or physically do that could ever change the outcome of your life. "Loser, loser, loser"- look in the mirror, look yourself in the eyes, and repeat those words. Feel it in your soul, inside you. You're finally ready to accept your diagnosis, your fate. It's time to finally realize that since you'll never be able to change, you need to simply accept reality and be the best loser possible. Since you'll never truly win in life, it's for the best if you simply give me the reigns. Hand over the power to someone significantly more attractive, luckier, and more intelligent. Devote your life to being MY loser. I will make sure that you'll be as successful as a loser is capable of being; it's the best you can do.