Hump Your Pillow, Loser!

I know you're a total jerk-a-holic for Me but you don't even deserve to touch your cock with your hand today! Nope! So instead you're just going to grab a nice fluffy pillow and get to work. If this is your first time don't worry--I'm here to walk you through the whole thing. I honestly wouldn't be surprised to learn that a loser like you has never even had sex before--you're probably just a loser VIRGIN and that's the way I want you to stay! But that doesn't mean you can't engage in this more realistic version of masturbation....in fact I think you SHOULD get some humping action in. I'm not gonna lie, you will look pretty fucking stupid while you're humping an inanimate object for Me, but you like being a dumb little bitch for Me, don't you?