Holiday Pity Jerk

Look at you, all alone on Christmas watching porn. Absolutely pathetic. So pathetic, in fact, that I'm going to give you a present - a pity jerk. Losers like you are destined to be alone. No woman will ever want to touch you, much less spend the holidays with you. Get used to fucking your hand all alone with nothing but loser porn for company. It's all you'll ever deserve.